Naruto Random Variety Hour!
by ImNotAFangirlBitch
Summary: This is a very random style of humor made to, i guess, brighten your day? Each chapter is a little mini series that is part ofa bigger plot! Dun dun dun! I just made this to make you laugh i hope i accomplish that goal! Here's my steppin out! Double R's
1. Enjoy :3

**This is for the hearing impaired! A Randomness Production! JKING!!! I thought I'd start out with a Naruto comedy. It'll be different settings and different characters every chapter but each will be like a continued series in itself…If that made any sense I AM SPARTAAAA! WARNING: IF YOU DON'T LIKE RANDOMNESS GET YO ASS OUT THA DOOR! **

**Deep within the Akatsuki's Lair… **

When Itachi is depressed…

Other Akatsuki try to cheer him up!

Itachi: (in a corner with a black aura all around)…

Deidara: BEHOLD!! Art! (Has a small clay birdie)

Itachi: Art sucks, like you…

Deidara: TT WAHHH! (Clay birdie explodes)

**A few minutes later**

Kisame: Hey, Itachi! Let's go punish the squirrels, today!!

Itachi: Not today…not any day… (Puts fingers in mouth and blows a whistle)

Kisame: O.O!!! OMG!! SQUIRRELS!! (Runs away from a huge mob of rabid squirrels)

Itachi: (cackles wickedly)

**A few tetanus – filled minutes later**

Zetsu: MacDonald's? (Holds up a MacDonald's bag)

Itachi: Go clog your own arteries, tubby…

Zetsu: TT (eating a big Mac) I'm not fat…

**WILL ITACHI EVER GET NOT UN INDEPRESSED? TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Itachi: Fangirls will die!**

Well? Did you like? Did you hate? Do I need some improvements? Feel free to tell me because….I need some double R's!


	2. Lolio party!

**Aww thanks you guys…I feel special now (tears up) I was really high on Cheetos that day so…yah…I LIKE CHEETOS! (Grabs a bag) Now sit back and prepare to laugh because it's time to D-D-D-DDDDDDUEL!! I mean…it's time for Naruto Random Variety Hour! More Double R's!**

**In a forest somewhere…**

Sakura: OMG! Naruto, how'd we get here?

Sakura:??? Naruto? NARUTO!!** TURN OFF THE DAMN IPOD!!**

Naruto: (pulls out the earphone) Whadda you want?

Sakura: I asked you a question…

Naruto: … yeah?

Sakura: Fine I'll ask sas…oh, that's right…NARUTO YOU ASSTARD! YOU MADE ME THINK OF SASUKE!! (Punch)

Naruto: OWWW!!

**In a cave or some jazz like that…**

Sasuke: (sitting on a couch, lazing about)…

Orochimaru: Oh, Sasuke-kuuuun!

Sasuke: (digs into a bag of chips)…

Orochimaru: All I ever do is clean and cook and what do you do, hmm?

Sasuke: (burrrrrp)

Orochimaru: You sit on the couch watching The Titanic all day and listening to Madonna! When will _we_ ever do something? And you're leaving crumbs all over the couch! (Spies a magazine under the couch and snatches it up)

Orochimaru: OH! What is this! I am disgusted! A snake breeding book!? Sasuke, I will not tolerate such filth in my cave!

Sasuke: (starts leaving)

Orochimaru: Where are you going?!

Sasuke: Out… (Leaves)

Orochimaru: Some times I get the feeling he doesn't love me anymore…

Kabuto: I love you, Orochimaru-sama!

Orochimaru: Oh, shut up, Kabuto-Chan! You had your chance…I'm gonna go listen to Sasuke's Linkin Park CD's. Don't bother me… (Goes to a corner of the cave and listens to Linkin Park)

**In a ramen shop somewhere…**

Kakashi: I sense a disturbance in the force…

Guy: Oh, GAWD, Kakashi! That is foul! Right in the ramen shop too! Could you at least warn a guy when you let one rip! Particularly MIGHT GUY!

Kakashi: It wasn't me I was to busy on the track of life…

Guy: YOU NEVER DID TRACK!!

Kakashi: You never took fashion class like everyone else in Konoha. The mask is in this year!

Guy: It takes a real man to embrace the youthfulness of spandex!

Kakashi: Embrace this…

Guy: Oh GAWD!! NOT AGAIN GROOSSS!

Kakashi: (poofs away)

**Back into the forest…**

Sakura: Naruto do something I'm hungry and tired and—

Naruto: Be a man!

Sakura: Wha? O.O

Naruto: Be a man!!

Sakura: Grr! NARUTO WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Naruto: LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!!

Sakura: O.O; (major sweatdrop)

Naruto: (humming the song happily on his iPod)

Sakura: Did you see something?

Naruto: Hm?

Sakura: (gasps) OMG IT'S SASUKE!

Naruto: No…it's Kakashi…

Sakura: Sasuke!!

Naruto: Kakashi!!

**OMG who's that pokemon! I mean, err, um! I wonder who's right about this. Naruto or Sakura? You could be the winner of a guest star spot on the variety hour if you guess correctly! **

**N/A: Well…Here's chapper 2. I hope you enjoyed! If not, you just wasted your life! Too bad! Sucks to be you! Okay…I'm sorry…lol…I dunno if it will let me download chapper 3 any time soon so just be patient. I'll try to crank these out as fast as I can. Double R people! Peace!**


	3. Mighty cheeto lumberjacks!

**Thank you guys again! . Ya'll make me feel so nice! Remember to be a lumberjack and chop down cheeto trees! Then harvest them and send them directly to my mouth! Muahahaha!! . . um…enjoy chapper 3! Double R, baby! **

In the firey pits of …uh…ionno…

Temari: I'M SO EXCITED!! AND I JUST CANT HIDE IT!! I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I WANT TO I WANT TO!!

Gaara: (glares) Temari…If you don't shut up…I will shove your head so far up your ass that you'll choke on your own bile.

Temari: Take a chill pill, Gaara…I'm excited!

Gaara: You've been singing for five hours…it's like standing next jet engine…

Temari: Wha-Whaaaaat!? I was so exited…but now… TT.TT

Kankuro: Can you please explain why Konoha's holding American Idol?

Gaara: Something about attracting a snake and his power ranger…

Kankuro: O.O P-power Rangers!? OMG HIIIDE!!

Temari: O.O; (sweatdrop)

Gaara: Oh, come on…It's been for years since the accident…you can't still be scarred?

Kankuro: YOU WEREN'T THERE!! SO MUCH SCARRING!

Temari: What the heck happened to him?

Gaara: Oh…gawd! You don't wanna know…here's a hint… (Holds up a cheeto)

Kankuro: HOLY SHIZZLE!! GET THAT AWAY!! FOR THE LOVE OF SNAPPLE APPLE FRAPPACINO CAKES!

Temari: O.O nevermind, I don't want to know…

Gaara: Hey, look, we're almost there…

Temari: Okay, but could you please put the cheeto away? I don't want Kankuro to look like a screeching idiot when we get there…

Gaara: No…I think I like him better like this…

Temari: Wow…you _are _evil…

Gaara: (wicked smile) I know…

Kankuro: FOREST GUMP!! SAVE ME!!! HELP ME, MIKE MEYERS!!

In Konoha…

Ino: Shikamaru!! How's my voice?

Shikamaru: Meh…as troublesome as ever…

Ino: That must be Shika-speak for "very sexy." Thanks! I will be Americ -- er um Konoha's next Idol!

Choji: Bleh…(chips chips chips) OMG GRAAA! Who put graffiti on my chip bag?! It says… "Sasuke loves potato chips…"

Ino: OMGEE, Sasuke?! (foaming out of the mouth) (snatches bag) GIMNE THE BAG FATTY!!

Choji: TT.TT fat used to be sexy…

Ino: (Eating bag)

Shikamaru: O.O; Wha- how troublesome…

Somewhere else in Konoha…

Neji: My Neji senses are tingling…

TenTen: My TenTen sexy meter's of off the charts (standing very close to neji)

Rock Lee: Huh?

TenTen: (jumps far away) O.O Lee your spandex is very nice today….

Rock Lee: Yeah… I thought blue was my color!

Back in that Forest…

Sakura: It's SASUKE!

Naruto: It's KAKASHI!

Sakura: It's SASUKE!! S-A-S-U-K-E!

Naruto: It's KAKASHI!! B-U-R-R-I-T-O!

**Well****which****one****is****correct? Cherry Blossom or Fish cake? Remember, if you guess right you could be in this very random variety show…**

**N/A: Sorry if this one wasn't as laughter filling…but I had math today…so I can't think straight…also I'm recovering from a sugar high…O.O mah head hurtz…DOUBLE R PLEASE!! I want at least five before the next chapter goes up!**


	4. Omg New chapter

**OMG What a long wait pplz!! Im soo sorry!! Im gonna cry now! Uh…Well here's chapper 4 enjoy!**

**Naruto and Sakura: IT's—(eyes widen)**

**???: ME GRAAAAA!!!**

**Naruto: I told you it was Choji…**

**Sakura: What are you doing here fattycakes!?**

**Naruto: (whispers to Sakura) He's obviously angry about chips or something.**

**Choji: I'M OBVIOUSLY ANGRY ABOUT CHIPS OR SOMETHING!! (rolls at them)**

**Sakura: Wow…you're good… (Naruto and Sakura are squished)**

**In Konoha**

Ino: Shikamaru? Did you hear something?

Ino: Sh-Shikamru!? SHIKAMARU!!

Shikamaru: (dead) (nose melted)

Ino: AAAAHHHH!!!!

**A few hours later at the crime scene**

(Police cars pull up)

Police: Aww…damn…my favorite song was on, too…Okay who's dead?

Ino: He's starting to smell! Please do something!

Police: (humming "a thousand miles")

Ino: Hello?!

Police: Oh, right…(walks over to Shikamaru)

Ino: Well?

Police: Oh, uh…this guy's dead.

Ino:….I knew that.

Police: So…I conclude he's not alive! Hehe…im so smart!

Ino: Well you know what it is?

Police: It's when you're breathing and moving around…

Ino: NO! NO! What killed him!?

Police: Oh, uh…gee…this seems to be the second—

Ino: Oh no! Two deaths already?

Police: (cough) This seems to be the second billionth today.

Ino: (turns pale and passes out)

Police: Uh…make that two billion and one…

Police: One day, I'll get the crook who did this!

**In the Shadows…**

???: Hehe…The Night Toot strikes again…BWAHAHAHA!!

**Wowzers…There you have it, double R's baby!**


End file.
